Sister Mary

Forensic psychology experts are best known for their involvement in high profile front-page cases. However, often there is little they can accomplish other than to rule out mental defenses or possibly help an attorney shave a few years off of an inescapable long prison sentence. While providing an interesting glimpse into the minds of people who have committed heinous acts, in these high profile cases there is little in the way of actual impact. On the other hand, the most rewarding referrals are often for “little” cases. In these instances a formulation recommending a path of restorative justice can make a huge difference to the defendant. Prosecutors and judges are more disposed to accept expert opinions because the political and personal stakes are very low. The following “little” referral is one of hundreds that I evaluated, mostly with one defense attorney who somehow ended up with this niche of lawbreakers.

In this instance, a fifty-year old teacher named Mary, who is also a nun, had been caught shoplifting at 6:30 PM at a local Walgreens on Memorial Day a few months earlier. She had never been in legal trouble, honestly had never shoplifted before, and if convicted of anything, she would lose her teaching credential as this would be considered a crime of moral turpitude.

Mary was seen twice in my office for a total of four hours. She was given a small battery of psychological tests to act as screening for more severe underlying mental disorder. She arrived precisely on time wearing street clothing. She showed surprisingly little emotion about what she had done or the possible consequences. As you will see, she had little insight and did not seem interested in figuring out why she was in this predicament. The following is reconstructed from my notes and an audiotape of the two meetings.

(With an affable and supportive tone) “Good morning Mary, I see you found my office OK, any problems getting here?”

It was easy, I live close by, but I don’t see why I’m here. I broke the law, there is no excuse, and there is a consequence.

Understand…I think your attorney is looking for ways that you might be helped through this thing, and he wants to understand how you got into this mess.

Its simple (with a slightly annoyed tone)…I walked into Walgreens, put some stuff in my purse, and walked out without paying and they stopped me outside.

In essence, this is what the security cameras had shown. I also had a list of the items taken.

Why don’t you take me through that day?

(With an annoyed sigh) It was just like any other. I really don’t see the point of this.

Well, let’s look at it (attempting to form a partnership with her and making sure that I was not put off or affected by her bristle). What day was it?

Monday

What time did you have to be at school?

(Exasperated with me) There was no school, it was a holiday. Memorial Day if you want to know.

OK, so what time did you get up and what did you do?

What does it matter…I had breakfast like any other day and then went over (across the bay) to keep company with Sister Clare.

Sister Clare?

She’s a nun staying in a retired (nuns’) home.

OK, and how did that go?

I was with her from 12 to 5.

Wow, that’s quite a long time, do you usually stay there that long?

Well, I usually stay for an hour or two, but she was in a bad mood and complained that I had not been visiting her enough and that she was lonely, bored and miserable. When I finally left, she complained and cried and said that I didn’t care about her.

So, you gave up your vacation day to take care of an elderly nun who was unappreciative?

(silence)

What would you normally have done on that day?

This is stupid.

I decided to wait her out, breathing easily, not taking anything personally knowing that something was brewing and something had to explain such an atypical act from an otherwise god fearing upright law-abiding woman.

OK, you seem like a very nice man, I’m sorry I’m not being very cooperative but…

I gave her a friendly look, conveying that I was not taking it personally. My actual thought was that yesterday I had led a woman, facing the death penalty, through the execution style murders of two strangers (she is one of the few women on death row in California to this day). I figured I could handle whatever the woman in front of me was about to reveal.

The truth is that I was not supposed to be there that day.

How so?

I had been offered a chance to go to a teacher’s retreat in Cabo San Lucas that weekend.

Wow! How did you get that?

Students vote and nominate who they think are the best teachers from all over, and those teachers get to go on this vacation or retreat or whatever.

So, how did you handle it?

What do you mean?

I thought she knew what I meant and was putting me off, after having revealed a little, but I decided this was important.

Well, what did you tell yourself about getting this honor?

There are lots of more deserving teachers

And?

I’ve never been out of the country and I’m already fifty. I got my first passport and, (long pause)….I was actually excited and had found a sitter for my cat.

Well, OK, so then what happened?

I didn’t want to tell Sister Clare for fear of her reaction, like I would be abandoning her. I put it off. When I finally told her she turned her back on me and started whimpering.

Hmm Hmm, she didn’t want you to go?

At this point, Sister Mary spoke in a low, hard to hear strangling rasp.

She told me that I didn’t really care about her and that if I went, I should think about her, sitting all alone and unhappy back in Oakland and told me to go away and never come back…that she would just die with no one caring about her.

Whew, that is a tough one…a bitter lonely old lady turns on the one person who has been giving up all of her free time to help and keep her company.

So, you gave up your mini-vacation to Cabo San Lucas?

I just didn’t think I had a choice. Sister Clare made me feel so guilty…here she was at the end of her life with no one coming to see her and the staff and other sisters didn’t even like her. I was all she had.

So, this left you feeling what?

I don’t know…probably guilty…when I gave up my spot at the retreat, I couldn’t sleep…I couldn’t even eat…I didn’t even go see Sister Clare on Saturday or Sunday when I should have, so when I finally went to see her on Monday…and then she made me feel so guilty wanting to leave after a few hours and then she told me I did not care about her and she just wanted to die.

Doctor, do you know that coming back across the bridge, I got my first traffic ticket in my life? Can you imagine that? Me?

I knew we were getting somewhere, getting to the bottom of the mystery. The strategy is stay neutral/supportive and stay out of the drama and to trust that with this process of pacing/leading she would come to see on her own the meaning of her shoplifting which was so obvious to me at this point. Having done many of these cases, I also knew that the “one off” shoplift usually has multi-level motivations.

“Whew, Mary…you had quite a weekend…you were feeling so guilty about Sister Clare that you canceled your vacation, then when you went to see her, she complained and blew you off…and then you got in your car and got pulled over on the bridge…and then you ended up at Walgreen’s there in San Mateo?

You know, it is such a blur…I was in such a state I could have robbed a bank…. really can’t even remember hardly going into the store. I don’t know what I was thinking.

What did you take?

I just remember walking up and down the aisles and putting things in my purse and then walking out, like I didn’t care. I don’t know what I took, just some small things.

Well, I get it, you were not thinking very well, like on autopilot.

I see you took a travel size Head and Shoulders?

I can’t imagine why, I don’t use that…it smells bad.

And a 25 watt bulb, the kind that goes in a kitchen oven?

Pffff, is that what it says? I have no idea why; I don’t think my oven even has a light.

What about the zippo cigarette lighter and lipstick?

That’s news to me…are you sure? The lawyer never told me about that…I have never smoked…I can’t imagine, what would I do with it? Lipstick? We gave that up when we entered the convent.

Mary, have you read the store and police reports?

The lawyer tried to get me to read them but I didn’t. I don’t want to think about it.

At this point I decided to give Mary a break and take a history from her. She was pretty upset and starting to show that she was interested/perplexed by her shoplifting having unloaded some of it on me. It was not surprising to learn that Mary had been a “giver” from her earliest memories. She had never been much of a “receiver” and in this sense was chronically “out of balance.” While being over-responsible, she had a hard time seeing that she was responsible for her own bad feelings. It would be up to a future therapist to help her sort out how she converted anger to guilt. Her curdled anger had led to a vindictive lashing out; akin to a child destroying a favorite toy out of impotent anger towards a parent. Typical in Mary’s category of shoplifting, she took items she did not use, she had plenty of money in her purse, and she did not do this in a little “mom and pop” store. In keeping with the notion of multiple levels of explanation, a tantalizing fact was that Mary’s father had died on Memorial Day when she was only nine years old.

Here is how the case resolved. I wrote a letter to the referring attorney explaining what I found. He forwarded it to the district attorney handling the case. Subsequently, Mary’s lawyer arranged for me to talk directly with the district attorney and to answer any questions. Meetings like with this with prosecutors in high profile cases typically go nowhere and are met with a guarded stone faced silence. In this case, the district attorney was friendly, quite interested in what I had found, and asked pertinent questions. Ultimately, an agreement was reached wherein the filing of the charges was suspended. Essentially, if Mary got help for herself and stayed out of trouble for a year, the case would be formally dropped. Luckily for her students, this would permit an extraordinary and talented teacher to keep her teaching credential.